garden terror seeds [stuffed red cabbage]

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If you’ve had a chance to play the Garden of Terror map in Heroes of the Storm, you will completely understand the importance of eating your vegetables. LET ME IMPROVE YOUR WEAK FLESH! 

On the Garden of Terror map, players are encouraged to collect seeds by smacking Garden Shamblers and the Garden Terror.

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Once your team collected 100 seeds, you can return to your base and summon your own GARDEN TERROR! When a player controls the Garden Terror, they are free to roam the map and cause havoc. Typically, what I try to do is run straight for the towers and start smacking away.

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There’s just something so darn awesome about being a giant plant and rampaging across the map. ROOAAARRRRR.

However, one should not play Heroes on an empty stomach… So I’ve devised this recipe to curb your hunger while channeling your inner Hero of the Storm!

Since the seeds are key to success on this map, it seemed natural to recreate such an important feature in food.

UNIT COMPOSITION

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  1. salt
  2. pepper
  3. 1 teaspoon of olive oil
  4. 1/2 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce
  5. 5-6 cloves of garlic, diced
  6. 1/4 lb of crimini mushrooms, diced
  7. 2 roma tomatoes, seeds removed and diced
  8. 1/3 lb of spinach
  9. 1/3 lb of  ground turkey
  10. 1 red cabbage

BUILD ORDER

Prep time is roughly 30 minutes. Total cook time is about 45 minutes. This will make 4 servings (about 2 each)

OPENING GAME

  1. Set water to boil in a large pot.
  2. Carefully peel the leaves from the red cabbage.
  3. Place leaves in boiling water for about 6 minutes or until soft (the water will turn dark purple).
  4. Remove and let cool.

MID GAME

  1. Set a pan on high heat and add olive oil.
  2. Add in your diced garlic. Let garlic brown. Then, add in your mushrooms and tomatoes. Saute for about 5 minutes.
  3. Remove from heat and let cool for a few minutes.
  4. In a bowl, combine your ground turkey, salt, pepper and worcesteshire sauce. Add in your sauted vegetables. Mix until combined.
  5. Take a tablespoon of meat and place it in center of one of the cooked cabbage leaves. Then fold the edges of the cabbage leaf to create a pouch. Use a toothpick to hold the top together.blog_gardenofterrorseeds_cooking

LATE GAME

  1. Place the “seeds” on a baking dish and bake for 25 – 30 minutes at 375° F.
  2. While the seeds are cooking, lightly boil your spinach. It will take about 2 minutes to cook.
  3. Once the spinach has cooked, drain it and arrange it to form leaves on the plate.
  4. Remove the seeds from the oven and place them on top of the spinach.
  5. Eat!

And BOOM, you’re done! GG WP!

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Hopefully you have made enough so you can share with your teammates:

blog_gardenofterrorseeds_battleI’ll see you in the Garden of Terror… But let’s hope you’re on my side! GOOD LUCK, HEROES!

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treasure goblin bags [curried turkey stuffed wontons]

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The elusive Treasure Goblin and his big ol’ bag of presents is a very welcomed sight to the adventuring Nephalem. However, this is not ideal when he scampers off into a group of angry demons. Whhyyy I just wanted loot!

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Wait! Come back! 

When you eventually catch up to the little bugger and mug him of all his goods, you might be lucky enough to get a Legendary! WORTH IT.

Recently, I came across the all-mighty PUZZLE RING. It was a minor upgrade from my old ring, but more importantly, it gave me a faithful Treasure Goblin side kick. I’ve affectionately named him Gibbles, because reasons.

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BEST FRIENDS WITH THE BIG SCARY PUPPY.

With the Puzzle Ring equipped, your Treasure Goblin companion will eagerly pick up common items. When he picks up 13 commons, he’ll drop a rare or legendary item.

This has caused me to be come fairly obsessive when it’s comes to feeding my Treasure Goblin. I have died many times desperately trying to rush through mobs in order to get to an Armor Rack just so I could get another common item. I have definitely gotten many more legendaries farming normally than I have trying to feed my Treasure Goblin…. Maybe I should re-evaluate this strategy. Hmm…

Farming for legendaries does make me quite hungry, and you definitely can’t go hunting loot on an empty stomach. So, I’ve devised a GLORIOUS appetizer that is perfect for your next legendary adventure: Treasure Goblin Bags! These bags are stuffed with the nutrients you need to keep slayin’ demons.

Since my Treasure Goblin buddy, Gibbles, only exists in-game, I’ve enlisted the help of Lewt the Papercraft Treasure Goblin to be my trusty sous chef for the day.

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Let’s get cooking!

UNIT COMPOSITION

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  1. salt
  2. pepper
  3. 1/4 cup of chives, chopped
  4. 2 tablespoons of curry powder
  5. 1/2 lb of ground turkey*
  6. 1 cup of carrot/broccoli slaw, minced (reserve a few pieces for decoration)
  7. ~20 wonton sheets

*You can substitute tofu for the turkey to make this vegetarian friendly!

BUILD ORDER

Prep time is roughly 25 minutes. Cook time is about ~12 minutes. This will make 4 servings.

OPENING

  1. In a bowl, combine your salt, pepper, curry powder, chives, and chopped broccoli/carrot slaw with your ground turkey.blog_treasuregoblin_cooking1
  2. Stir until thoroughly combined.

MID GAME

  1. Take one wonton wrapper and place about a tablespoon of filling in the center of the wrapper.
  2. Dip your finger in water and moisten two edges of the wrapper.
  3. Fold the corners to create a triangle.
  4. Take the two bottom corners of the triangle and fold them to the center.
    Place two sticks of carrot or broccoli from your slaw between the gaps. Crimp the edges at the top to form a small satchel shape.blog_treasuregoblin_cooking2

LATE GAME

  1. Preheat your oven to 400° F (~204° C).
  2. Place your treasure goblin bags on a baking tray and bake for about 12 minutes.
  3. Remove from oven and let cool for about 3 minutes.
  4. Eat!

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Ta-da! GG WP. Now you’ll have these delicious appetizers full of legendary deliciousness.

Make sure you eat these quickly because you’ll never know when a Treasure Goblin might run off with them!

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Hey, whats in the bag? Oh, more bags.

the polenta coin [polenta with turkey patties]

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As many of you may know, I have developed a crippling addiction to Hearthstone: Heroes of WarCraft. This became incredibly evident when I devoted a few days perfecting my Hearthscones recipe in honor of the game:

Maybe you can cook them in a hearth…

Many hours went into grinding ranked ladder prior to the end of Beta Test Season 1. Eventually, all of the time spent paid off because I reached Legend rank and managed to stay in the top 50 for Season 1! I’m pretty proud of this accomplishment and I couldn’t have done it without the help and support of my boyfriend.

For the past few weeks, I have been unable to pry myself away from my computer because I was so entranced with the game and so focused on climbing the rankings for Season 2. I went through so many different revisions that it’s difficult to remember what my original rogue deck even was. At some point, there were two Defias Ringleaders and then a few hours later, they were replaced with Loot Hoarders.

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง This is our town, scrub. (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง Yeah, beat it! (ง •̀_•́)ง

After many many changes and many many games, I finally broke into Legend rank! I feel that if I maybe changed class, I might have had an easier time climbing ladder, but I was too darn stubborn to change from Rogue. blog_polentacoin_hearthstonestats

ROGUE 4 LIFE.

But enough rambling about ladder — what’s for dinner?

THE POLENTA COIN!

The Coin is a card in Hearthstone that you receive for losing the coin-flip (meaning you play second). When played, The Coin will give you 1 extra mana for that turn. Unlike it’s in-game counter-part, the Polenta Coin will give you nutrition and will satisfy your hunger so you can get back into the game!

UNIT COMPOSITION

FOR THE POLENTA 

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  1. salt
  2. 3 teaspoons of butter
  3. 1 1/2 cup of medium-ground corn meal
  4. 1 cup of chicken broth
  5. 1/2 cup of milk
  6. 2 cups of water

FOR THE TURKEY 

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  1. salt
  2. pepper
  3. 1 teaspoon of thyme
  4. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
  5. crushed garlic
  6. 1/4 lb of oyster mushrooms
  7. 1/2 lb of ground turkey

BUILD ORDER

Total prep time is roughly 30 minutes. Cook time is about 10 minutes for the polenta and 30 minutes for the turkey patties. There is roughly 2-3 hours of idle time. This makes 4 servings.

OPENING

  1. Bring your water and chicken broth to a boil. Add in a little salt.
  2. Once your water has begun to boil, add in your corn meal and stir. Reduce the heat to medium.
  3. Add in your butter and milk. Stir occasionally until the polenta has become thick. Remove from heat.
  4. Line a baking dish with parchment paper. Pour your polenta on top of the parchment paper.blog_polentacoin_cooking1
  5. Gently shape the polenta into a square and allow the polenta to come to room temperature. Once it has cooled, place a piece of cling wrap over the polenta and put the polenta in the refrigerator.
  6. Allow polenta to cool for about 2 -3 hours.

MID GAME

  1. Combine your thyme, garlic, salt, pepper, and ground turkey in a bowl.
  2. Pre-heat an oven to 375°(~180° C).blog_polentacoin_cooking2
  3. Shape your ground into small 1 1/2 inch hexagon-shaped patties (they will expand).
  4. Bake the patties in the oven for 15-20 minutes.

LATE GAME

  1. Put a skillet on high heat. Use half of your olive oil and saute your oyster mushrooms until golden brown (~3-5 minutes). Remove mushrooms from skillet and place them on a plate. Gently wipe down the skillet with a damp paper towel.
  2. Remove your polenta from the fridge. Use a 3.5″ ring cookie cutter on the polenta to create the coin rounds. You should be able to cut at least 4 coins from the polenta.
  3. Place the skillet back on high heat and add in your remaining olive oil.blog_polentacoin_cooking3
  4. Place your polenta coins in the skillet and allow them to slightly brown. Allow for each side to brown for about 2 – 3 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium low and allow the coins to reheat.
  5. Once the polenta coins are warmed, use a 2.5″ cookie cutter ring to imprint a circle on the coin. Place the turkey patty inside of the circle and plate on top of your mushrooms.
  6. Eat!

WELL MET.

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I mean, GG WP.

Whether you’re going first or second, the Polenta Coin will still make a delicious Hearthstone-inspired meal!

See you on ladder! Or, if ranked ladder isn’t your cup of tea, maybe I’ll see you in Arena!

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SORRY, NOT SORRY.

barcraft bites [hors d’oeuvres trifecta]

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Over the weekend, I attended a BarCraft event at my friend’s home. We’ve had BarCraft events here before (with the occasional karaoke involved), but none of this caliber. Blizzard, being the awesome folks that they are, sent Ray some StarCraft swag to help with the festivities.

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PRESENTS!! A GSL calendar, TONS of coasters, authenticators, stickers, and lanyards!

To prepare his bar for eSports, Ray put decorations honoring all of the international StarCraft teams.

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Unlike Joeyray’s Bar on Mar Sara, Ray’s Bar in California does not stock Benson Cognek or Scotty Bolger’s Old No. 8, but there is a plethora of other fine spirits…

blog_barcraftbites_barNo shortage of refreshments here. 

In order to have a proper BarCraft, we had to have proper bar food and that was my job. I created a menu full of finger food that could be easily enjoyed with a beer-in-hand. Each race is proudly represented here in a very foodie fashion:

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For Terran, I’ve created the Hellbat Sliders, turkey sliders with a spicy BBQ base and apple coleslaw. These hellbats won’t damage your economy.

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For Zerg, I’ve created Swarm Host Bites, stuffed mushrooms with mozzarella cheese and Italian sausage. Warning, unlike in-game swarm hosts, these swarm host bites cause major splash damage!

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Finally, for Protoss, I’ve created Tempest Croissants, prosciutto, spinach and mozzarella stuffed croissants. Let these croissants siege your taste buds.

These recipes are meant to be very simple and I will be taking some shortcuts in order to reduce the prep time and the ingredients list.

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fungaled fusilli [avocado pesto pasta salad]

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The weather is getting warmer and that means it’s time for summer foods! Hooray!

With Soulkey pulling off a miraculous win against INnoVation, it’s time to crown another Zerg GSL Champion and time for another Zerg recipe!

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More eSports events need people in monkey costumes. 

If Soulkey’s plays have inspired you to hop onto ladder, I suggest that you do not ladder on an empty stomach!

So if you’re looking for a meal that will satisfy your hunger during the heat, try out this recipe: Fungaled Fusilli! It’s green and lean!

Fungal Growth has never been this delicious… The avocados in this dish provide a healthier alternative to standard creamy pasta sauces. In this application, I’m using the avocado sauce for cold pasta salad.

There is no need to be scared of this fungal growth, because it won’t root your army or ruin your drop play.

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How could you say no to roasted veggies? 

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